NaPoWriMo 2/30 The Healing

It started with a cough....
like most cases of sickness that burn through brown skins from within.
The copper tone of bullet chills and Cat claw rakes my throat with soreness,
makes swallowing harder then an olympic record to beat.
Bitter sweet really I have to choke on.

Losing my ability to speak on some level was comforting.
Having everyone and they mama getting at me trying to force a response...
My waiter voice just couldn't serve their demanding restaurant conversation.
The retching left a unholy salty taste in my mouth that seemed all to familiar.
Like being struck by lighting twice in the same spot.
stomach boiling the unsanitary notions of health deferred with no turning back.

My head, chest, arms and legs felt branded with an iron on the wrong fabric setting.
So hot yet cold as winter snow.
And the beat goes on....
of an unsteady heart rhythm
this is not normal.
No, this is not normal.
Was it something I ate, drink, or hand I shook.
A surface I touched germ solicited mind going on and on like the babbling Brook on riddlin.

Forgot to follow these guidelines of health.
So now could I be paying the ultimate price...?
I think Thrice bout the things I could've done different in my life.
But still with no regrets.
What woman I didn't treat right enough or birthdays I forgot
This is a shot of reality given by Dr. Life.
The bill will be the death certificate and receipt my toe tag.
But maybe its paronoia exaggeration on my part.

I mean it wounsld suck unwashed monkey balls to go this way.
The healing I'm looking for could come before I know it
Heard in passing convo my mom saying a stomach virus going around.
So simple home remedies could do the trick...
Then I started getting dizzy on the way to the bathroom with a crick in my walk.
Managed to shut the door and b4 I knew it...
more than have of what was consumed during the day was on the floor. smh.
And that was the first round.
After I sat down for a minute,
My gut and my head where in a fight to the finish.

No, did not consume any alcohol in the past 72 hrs.
Just felt an urgency to find the answer to this case in the current 24, Jack Bour.
Always felt like Wolverine from the X-men growing up.
Whether a minor or major injury, the Healing would be almost instant.
Though when it came to my heart, that factor was resistant.
I find it intriguing that some sudden ailments and illness would reveal all this.

Found myself somehow being able to write this monologue of mental misery.
Physically broken down temporarily but never fully broken
Considering my health plight one of God's tough love tokens to become stronger on this ride.
While residing in staggering thoughts of love, live, struggle, strife...

The Healing only comes when you decide to make it come..for you.
Without hesitation...
The precipitation of content will rain down on me like SWV.
soaking into the future I'll determine.
Hit ya in ya chest like a shot of burbon, wit no ice.
Then the truth shines
Say to yourself, "Vicotry will be mine!"
Just know that an iodine of words and actions can heal all wounds...from the right person.




Abraham "Honest Abe" Benjamin
© 2012

NaPoWriMo 1~30- 4 Bidden Fruits

I'm off my rocker....

after having wet day dreams of how I ROCKED her...world.

Until I can make that a reality to behold, my hand with out hers.

My side with out her, my bed with out her...essence to make it whole...just feels cold.

She, makes me feel wanted.

She, and those giving ways from far away has me taunted.

She, is so tempted to be mine and I vis versa.

She, if given the chance would be ready to run the gauntlet of love with I....

This woman,

with heart on a cautious pedestal...only for who is deserving.

This woman,

illuminating Oshun chakra shots to my soul's 3rd eye...

...forcing it to cry lava tears of phoenix humility and humbleness.

This Woman,

who has left chain letter-choker melodies of memories impossible for me to abandon on writer's block...

doesn't understand or realize shadow emotions are hard to shake over time!

You....a summary of this man's anthology greatest love of all deserving of a Goddess possessed within you.

You, the redefinition of imperfectly perfect

with hairless mounds between thighs

my lips need to engulf,

tasting strawberry chocolate bliss from the heavens to get lifted on....

You, the 1 of a kind, tantric arrow cupid ever made...

I've been waiting seemingly centuries for his ass to finally

target my damn chest;

So "My better half" can slip from these lips like tongues malesting nipples passionately.

The words "Sane" and "Pain" are one in the same when it comes to her.

With feelings inside

that trend more than Nicki Minaj's ass injections on twitter.

For some years now,

a Rapture of poetic symphonies laid dorment beautifully plaguing the ready to cross line

of air and opportunity...

in the back my mind a foundation

in her slave to love and happiness heart plantation needs residing with mine...ASAP.

So how can the gesture of pleasure be denied/ignored

when she not so subtly plants a bed of interest

in the garden under my nose to get a whif of what potential smells like..?

Tells me, my uniqueness and comforting characteristics

touched that torchured male terrorized faith in true love...

...and good men,

is slowly regaining justified hope to exist;

She also happens to be aware of

some overlining intrigue of pursuite from my direction as well.

This woman...Like B McKnight said, "My pride always gets in the way.."

I should have begged you to stay.

Flipped the script on me, playing role of Donell Jones in his song, "Where I wanna be".

Left me to see...what good could come from self focus, and notice like a chocolate Lotus flower grow to a desired peak.

Meek woman,

with soul stirring factor to make a man like mine's aura need crutches from our first encounter...

Since I know the energy exuding would be so fucking crippling and indulge in every second of it.

There has always been an age old adage that suggests

the combination of lover and friend,

usually form relationships with endurance of longevity...

You are the type of woman to make that sound like an understatement.

Just survey any man with pulse you give mental and physical hard-ons to try to prove me wrong.

I'm no angel by far,(and neither are you)

which is why you possess the thoughts to bring the Scorpio devil out of me.;)

Though I guess I can blame fate, for the question in my head of

why the current state of "WE" isn't in a future yet to see...?

Now, at this point...I'm confused.

Bruised beyond the fact of,

why God would give me such a proximity mine residing below my rib cage...?

Just like my mother birthing my vessel of flesh, didn't ask for this damn it!

Its suppose to be me and one other designed to have as lover, confidant, under covers, never put no one above her.

It's suppose to be when a brotha gives with reciprocal tendancies,

when she does in kind, Karmic complexities and complications shouldn't return!

It wasn't suppose to be This woman,

in this mortal komabat game of love...

Scorpion spearing my being magnetic pulling me to "COME HERE!!"

To get caught up in a relm of content that won't leave me alone to this day...

It wasn't suppose to be this bandit from BK,

taking a risk to open chambers to you,

unlock thoughts to you, make room 4u....

and still feel as lost on my road 2 redemption with contents under pressure...

I was born with...of empathy and genorocity that has become

a curse and a blessing like this gift of verse;

burdened...

What form of unholy pain in a pastlife of desired joy was caused for myself

wanting to taste these 4 Bidden Fruits laying on my chest's plate...?

Was Lauren Hill right when saying, "It could all be so simple...but you'd rather make it hard."?

And feels like it applies so well to this scenario.

Heart feeling like a greedy fat kid hoe,

With no dough to buy its freedom from such a love pimp situation

anguish mixed in the frustration, have no right to complain and

find some way to stay true.....

TO BE CONTINUED....

Copyright Abraham "Honest Abe" Benjamin 2012

All rights reserved

Unlocked Thoughts of a Prophet's Temple: Humble Beginnings Chap Book

Click either on pic or "Buy Now" button to purchase Autographed copy of Chap book. (email me at abgr8est@yahoo.com to have it personalized.)

Pieces 4 Ur Heart

Pieces 4 Ur Heart

When it hits that thin line between late night and day break...

the next stanza of you is hard to start...

because in mind I'm with you,

but our bodies are apart so I hope these words connect the puzzle board of this growing love.

There comes a time in a mans life when he realizes games are for bedrooms and toys.

And Boyish tendencies only dis your Psyche.

So my agenda and mission, incite your mind with guarantees.

ignite your chakra with tantra's for dynasty lips to suck the legacy out my Ankh.

While I leave the shores of your Nile River soaked for generations to cum...and to come.

My words are the bonds I use to hold on to my sanity and lingering solace.

They massaging your heart and soul leaving a euphoric content inside

is a humbling bonus for me.

I can feel it...the clear residue of Carbon monoxide from my pupils.

My soul wants to get some air and stays scentless.

Rumbles of despair within the instinct part of my trifecta fears…

I want to love you new.

Love the inner beauty possessed but shown to the privileged few when

the door of opportunity to your hearts sanctuary is unlocked.

I'd must be shell shocked to have you believe and me conceive the notion that

I'm a poetic surgeon to help repair, and fulfill your needs...but I'll try.

Trust, this isn't AB trying to spit no game atchu...

my current mission is to polish the picture of a jewel inside your chest

and keep the frame around it from dope fiend leaning.

Since I've seen and know women, some friends, others ex's

who's aura me and other men have provoked, broke and damaged,

not delivering what they deserved right,

was blind to my neglecting ways even though

my vision is considered 20/20 in hindsight.

Just getting my mind right...on this road 2 redemption.

Like Vanessa, no man should have the power to crack your sunshine

via the mistrust and disgust of trifling brothers out there

That gives the rest of us a bad name.

But in regards of good ones...I can only speak for myself.

You know we all are far from perfect,

though I'd never want a Goddess like you to hang hopeful happiness on the shelf.

So, lets agree to say love and content solace together is all about perspective.

And if its believed you've had your "Final Fantasy"

Then every blow taking from this point on will be supper effective to your B.S. proof intuition.

After hearing these words, know that their adhesive from my lips,

was not only spoken to keep your equilibrium of faith in love...

together by the half or part,

just an offering of pieces 4 UR Heart.

Abraham Benjamin a.k.a. “Honest Abe” [© 2012]

Wide Open Wednesdays (Monthly event on 1st Weds.) At Museum of Sex in Oral fix Cafe' 10-5-11

Originally suppose to be posted last Wed. night. Oct. 5th. But got delayed. So...here it go!)

Well, last night I decided to break habit, or do something out of ritual for me on a Wednesday night and go some place I haven't been before. Which I did, and happen to end up at the Museum of Sex on 233 5th ave (off the corner of E 27th st) in Manhattan. A monthly open mic with the theme....you guessed it, SEX! Now being sexually and erotically conscious, I admit to a degree. (And being a Scorpio, you know the deal. ;) )I thought, before leaving my crib and when I walked in...I'm well overdue. Lol!

So I must of past it countless times and heard bout it on the news. But last night coming there was def. worth my wild...key word: WILD. Smh. lol. The $hit I heard...smh. A chick did a song

called "I F#%ked him for fire crackers". Another woman (who was an opera singer mind you) sung (in opera form) a song with the with the hook, "Tonight I'm F%#king you...". Lol! That $hit was hilarious!! And entertaining. The stuff I saw...

Well didn't get any footage during the show itself, let alone pics. But I did take some snaps after the show that was definitely worth the time I spent and had. Loved the receptiveness of the crowd and interactivity too. Oh, yea. The pics are below. (SN: I'm definitely coming back next month with my girl. We already done confirmed that!)

Floor pattern of the museum




Rules of the Museum...lol. Shame all that had to be pointed out. But hey...


Oral Fix bar (where every 1st Wed. of the month SEX themed open mic happens) Doors open at 5pm. Show from 6-8pm.




The Photo booth...yea. Go nuts!! (And I mean that in every dirty innuendo way possible. Lol. j/k.)




Uh-huh...do I really need to put a caption here...?




Yup. You see right. "Booty Mugs". Where else could you find some of these in NYC...? Tell me, where?! :-)




Sex related books and "SEX" & "FUCK" Boxes/blocks.






"FUCK MY SOCKS OFF" And Erotic books.





Erotic Dice and Oral Sex Dice. Along with "Love Cuffs" in Black & Red.







Sequelities Erotiques Bones Exhibit.



Yea...you know that's how you like it. Lol. :)







Enjoying some sweet, red red wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine! So good to meeeeee! Lol. :-)

On a chill flow b4 rolling out.

Met some pretty cool people here on this night. All because I decided to break with routine of places I'd usually go and try something different. Trying to experience as much new things as possible in this reborn day month of mine. And so far, so good. Wonder what else is in store for me before its through...? Hell, before the year is through, I believe much progress will be made on many things. As usual, time will tell.

So, till next time. My road 2 redemption continues!

-Abe

REPENT LETTER TO A QUEEN (RECKLESS INTENT 2)

Dear your Majesty,

My recent actions tell an unjust story of my character. A stinging desert miraj of unlawful words

was not the intent to disrespect your crown. Doing so, I've turned my own crown into one of thorns placed on my tongue

to repent this verbal offense of a criminal nature. The reckless decision I made when parting these lips,

I can't argue, warrants the crucifixtion feelings punishment placed on me within your power.

The intent to tarnish the earned image of my being...was not conscious. But a mistake being morally paid for right now.

We were never meant to suffer this barn fire of sorrow wedged between us via carelessness.

I remember us discussing the unworthy Kings and false knights in fools silver armor

blinding the reality reflection of their lackluster standards you found out the hard way about;

Revealing the true revenue of manhoods...which pale in comparison to a pound of your golden value.

The crest of your precious cusp aura, I felt commanded times of needed happiness ahead. And still do.

I admit and plea guilty to debt charges I've been accused of and ask for leaniency.

For the ones against me are acknowledged as follows:

1. Assault with a deadly weapon loaded with unlienced voacabulary in the 1st degree.

2. Endangering the safety and solace of a recovering broken heart via multiple past assailents.

3. And 1 account of indecent exposure and rude acts pain and mild suffering undeservingly of a queen I care about....in a public venue.

If it pleases you, my torment is growing and will continue...until within your descretion

I'm forgiven.

This sin I've comitted against one of God's work in the flesh,

has spawned a bump in our growing bond...

It would most undoubtedly humble me to be back in your good graces as soon as possible.

Though your anger is understandable.

But there is an unfathomed notion within me that holds out hope.

And a sense that your warm nature will bloom for me

to indulge in those beautiful big brown eyes soon.

See, that respecting your royalty means a lot to my soul.

It pains me, even if temporary to know your in minor disgust of my person

Never wanting the story of us to worsen with lost time...

Hoping you accept this affidavid of my heart on my sleeve

in this repent letter on the mercy of your character.

There's no way I can apologize enough.

In this court of your opinion, cause the public don't matter right now...

This tension between us can and should decease. But the power is in your hands.

In the case of my bad judgement, reckless intent is rarely given another chance.

I'm betting my bottom dollar, that you can and are willing grant me such a deed.

Sincerely with love that has become relentless only for you,

Abraham Nathaniel Benjamin a.k.a. Honest Abe

Copyright 2011

"Thirsty"..a collab..Epiphany Castro and Honest Abe

Thirsty..

You’d sell your soul for a dollar

Trade in your morals for a glass of Hennessey

And like Marvin it makes me wanna holler

Watchin you tap-dance for the masses…the industry

Somebody should have schooled you in class…

Excrement masquerading as art

May buy you a temporary pass

But shyt does not last forever, and your azz

Merely becomes fertilizer to feed

What grows organically-food for the real creative trees

Caught up, bought up, but not up… to par

It was all for naught and yes that naught is you

Unaccounted on the census as a bastard of Massa's with glee

Even so, your adoption is clear

Dignity should runneth over from the brew you been sippin from

But you piss golden showers like R. Kelly on underage futures I don't wanna fathom

Elevation got lost in a sea of on demand coonery

The buffoonery will eventually evaporate

But Like the the price of real estate, your lackluster lack of ideals

Shall become the foundation beneath the soles of integrity

Stuck like gum to the heels-

Plummeting with every single breath you take

And every poor choice you make. Cause the choice was yours

An imposter you became…a muthafuckin fake

So Dance nigga dance…prance nigga prance

And don’t forget your pearls and blackface-

As you set back the entire race

500 years….plus

In exchange for a pocketful of small silver lined with puss

And a handful of tainted gold…

So thirsty… so very thirsty you are

But I ask you..What will make you whole?

I know your sac is somewhere dripping the manhood you left behind once

the auction block you had a helping hand to step on

looked too enticing to refuse;

A Fuse you lit with every Savion gloved move you took

Feel that burn in your throat...? Sure you do.

And love it!

Chug down the welcomed pain when thirsty enough...those

Kamikaze karma bullets you shoot from ya tongue and ya gun

are good for your "Rep" ain't they...?

There is a Johnson Chugging reality check birthed by you

That you need to come to terms with,

Just like your dick,

You stick your pride in the wrong hole

Be ready to come back with S.T.D.’s to add to those “D’s” you rolling on.

Congratulations Thirsty Sambo.

The hood continues to die slow from your bad drinking habits.

Epiphany Castro

Honest Abe

All Rights Reserved 2011